Bury a piece. It belongs with him.

I remember how nervous I was, the first time I stepped foot on a stage, yet I knew it was where I wanted to be…needed to be.

You were there. Of all things, I played a prostitute who sexed you up. We rushed around backstage everytime the scene crept closer, messing my hair up, smudging my lipstick all over you. We would quickly take your shirt off and pull my skirt down a little, take off my tall boots, and finally look at each other and laugh. We waited for our cue…knowing that we we entered from stage right, the response from the audience would be exactly why we did this in the first place.

The gasps, the laughter that we heard…made it worthwhile. It was my very first appearance on stage, and you were there, right beside me, encouraging me along the way.

The years went by… every play, skit or musical, we were there…together. Prom went by, (your date was my hot exchange student best friend from Brazil) but we were still there…together. I remember when I would sit in the mini living room in the back of your aunt and uncle’s house…I mostly remember sitting there one night, listening to Outkast together…the Roses song…Carol and Aaron were there…you kept rewinding it, singing it in the most hilarious voice I’ve ever heard.

How I have managed to lose you and have your presence taken out of my life forever is an incomprehensible concept for me right now. Your gorgeous face, your beautiful smile, your contagious laugh and your all-famous derogotory comments will never escape my memory.

I think you’ve always had a piece of my heart. You were there when I needed you in my life. You watched me grow up. You were an inspiration to me on the stage and when needing guidance there, you were the only one I looked to because on that stage, everytime, you were utterly perfect. You were my big brother, my support and my encouragement through adversity.

“I miss you” doesn’t really express the way I feel at this point. A piece of my heart is empty. The peice that you held and will carry to the grave. I know that no one will be able to replace the role you had played in my life.

To my brother, the one I wished at one point so desperately was actually related because you fit the criteria so perfectly….that piece of my heart will be lost forever, but forever it will be with you. Thats where it belongs and thats where I’ll let it stay.

Derek Scott, I love you. I miss you. Terribly. I’ll see you soon.

~ by hstringer on December 1, 2008.