Black. No Cream. No Sugar.

So a few times a week the agents will come into the office to get some work done. I’m still unsure as to what this “work” entails but thats beside the point.

So there is this new agent. He will remain nameless but he does in fact remind me of Kevin from The Office. They have the same awkward personality so let that paint a picture in your mind.

So “Kevin” could fall into a lot of categories. Potentially one of the following:

-Unmarried and completely incapable of doing any common household task.

-Married and spoiled by his wife so that he doesn’t have to do any common household task.

-Married with children who fall in the age range of 5-10.

-Married with children who fall in the age range of 11-21 and are dumb as rocks.

Now, the reason I can safely assume the above lifestyle scenarios of “Kevin” is because he has been repeatedly using a form of psychology on me for the past few months.

This brings us to coffee.

Every morning when I get into the office I start my pot of coffee. 2 cups. Everyone else that drinks coffee here drinks it at home. So I get to fix the coffee as I want it. It’s a very freeing feeling. Until now. “Kevin” wants coffee when he is in the office. Which is fine, but there are rules to making coffee in the office. “Kevin” is unaware of the rules.

Now for the part that ties it all together. “Kevin” never makes/starts the pot of coffee, even if he is in the office before me. He always waits until I get there and says “There’s the only girl that makes a good pot of coffee in this office.” Now at first I thought, that’s sweet, now, not so much. “Kevin” does this everytime he is in the office, without fail. It has become the most irritating thing. Clearly “Kevin” could be in every category listed.

-Not married–”Kevin” honestly does not know how to make a pot of coffee.

-Married and spoiled–”Kevin” honestly does not know how to make a pot of coffee and is used to his wife making it for him. Therefore, he will never ask how to make it. He likes it this way.

-Children between 5-10– “Kevin” is used to using a slight form of reverse psychology with his small children and is mis-interpreting my age by about 11-16 years.

-Dumb Children between 11-21–”Kevin” uses the above psychology with his children to get what he wants. They are dumb as rocks and still fall for it. “Kevin” mistakes me for his dumb children.

Finally, once I have made my/”Kevin’s” coffee, he proceeds to doctor it up. He puts milk in it. There’s just something about a man who puts milk in his coffee. C’mon guys, if we pour a cup of coffee at the same time and I drink it black, there is an unspoken man rule…wait. Wait until I leave the room if you are going to add milk, cream, sugar, or a little umbrella for that matter. Then hide…Hide until your caramel colored barely brown coffee is no longer in your cup. No one wants to see a man drinking white coffee. It just doesn’t work that way. If you are getting a specialty coffee at a coffee place, thats a different story… I can understand and respect your seasoned taste for coffee. But if we are brewing a pot of Folgers at the office, you need to get over it “Kevin”.

You’re coffee etiquite or lack there of is wearing thin.

~ by hstringer on July 21, 2008.