Movin’ up in the Alphabet

This Christmas was wonderful. I got to spend it with friends, family and friend’s families. There was also a snow storm. It was miserable to be out in, but absolutely beautiful to be in for. I also got engaged! It was expected, but unexpected, and filled with emotions across the board. Overall it was perfect. And my ring is ballin’! 

Now, we’re  [my FIANCE and I. first time I've used that word!] on the cusp of the new year with goals and visions and hopes and dreams and a new life; all at our fingertips.  We’ve already been down a number of tough roads and hard times…yet somehow we always wound up here. With each other. Knowing what forever had in store for us. It is truly a miracle and a blessing that I have found such an amazing man. Our lives together are going to be so rich with love and laughter. We are so lucky to be where we are today.

Happy New Year!

jump? jump.

More than the average person, I do not like to fail at things. I don’t like to fail so much that sometimes I will ride out a dead-end/terrible/not right for me situation for way too long, just so that I can end it with an accomplishment in even the littlest way. I think a lot of this behavior comes from how I was raised, who I want to be proud of me and my lack of reliance on God.

I think that sometimes I can be so headstrong on an idea or direction that I will push and push to see it through, without even considering that maybe it’s just time to move on. Maybe this season has passed. Maybe it wasn’t even supposed to be a season in the first place.

I think and decide on things logically for my life. What makes sense for me? That makes sense. Decision made. But now I look at some of the best things in my life and how they haven’t come from logic at all.

I have the most loving, understanding and supportive family. I discuss with my mom the troubling things of life. She replies with “Praise God. Make it a positive situation and praise God. If you go into this thinking it will be terrible, it more than likely will be. Praise God for your opportunities and make them positive experiences.”  I discuss with my dad how hard I try to defy the odds that work against me in my current situations and he replies with “I’m so proud of you and everything you do. You make me such a proud father. My Johnny is the same way. He encourages and supports whatever it is I want to do. He urges me to figure out what it is that makes me happy, then pushes me to pursue it.

I have so many people on my side. I am so thankful. I need to take some leaps of faith in the near future. I think logic has run its course for now. I need to open my eyes up to what is being laid out in front of me and pursue every idea, thought and direction with passion.

Why not right now? Why not immediately? Well, you wouldn’t jump out of a plane without a parachute would you? I hope not. Right now is my “preparing the chute” process. I need to get my ducks in a row and get ready to jump. I know that He will catch me and steer me in the right direction. Here’s to the jump.

1.1 – “God Loves Us” — There is a time and place..

It has been a while since I posted the “Things Christians Shouldn’t Talk About” series intro. I have been debating weather or not I actually have time to devote to something that could  be discussed for such a long period of time. I have decided that I will make time. Not all of the sections will be lengthy or too terribly in depth, but I hope that they all get a meaningful point across none the less.

“God Loves Us”

How many times have you heard that phrase written above? Outside of church, probably quite a bit if you have grown up in a household surrounded by and founded on the principles of Christianity. Inside of the church, you have probably heard it thousands upon thousands of times over and over again.

This happens to drive me absolutely insane.

I hate it when a sermon, a blog, or even a facebook post simply talks about how much God loves us. I think that when mentioning or trying to explain how much God loves us, we need to be cautious of the audience that we are directing the message. There are people [especially kids/young adults] that have never felt an “unconditional love” from anyone. Broken family, no family, abusive family, whatever the circumstance, there ARE people out there that do not know what an unconditional love is. For a pastor or Christian to speak or write about how much God loves us for the intent of anything but solidifying a common belief among Christians is completely pointless.

If your goal is to stay within your “box” and stay on the straight and narrow while listening to sermons every Sunday and attending your weekly Bibly study, then this post will not pertain to you at all. We all know that “those Christians” keep the controversy to a minimum and think that what they do is at its peak and couldn’t possibly be improved upon.

If your goal is to reach the unreached, do hard things, or make sacrifices for what you believe others should see in you…in your faith… in your relationship with God…then you may be one to open your mind and hear what is being said.

Let me put it this way: You read a great book and a year or two later the movie is made. You think some parts of it were incredibly spot on with what you had imagined. Some parts were somewhat like you had pictured. You will always meet someone else that says “That movie was nothing like I had imagined or thought it would be. It was not what I had pictured at all.” Everyone invisions things in a completely different way. Everyone imagines something that they have never seen before in a way so different than any other individual. Why would God’s love be any different?

Recognize that if you want to lead, if you want to bring people to know the joy that you know, than you better be ready for some explaining. Some logic. Some answers. If someone has never in their life experienced an unconditional love, or any form of love at that, it would be extremely unlikely for them to hear your “God loves us” spill and say “You know what, even though I have never felt love before, and have never had someone care about me unconditionally, I think  I will go ahead and start right now.” More times than not, it doesn’t happen that way. We need to have our actions match what claims are made. We need to SHOW people what love is. We need to stop assuming that every “profound” God loves us speech is going to convert people to devoted Christians overnight.

We need to start SHOWING those actions through our everyday lives. We need to let people see the light through our own spirits. Open a Bible. Give some scripture. It can’t hurt. But when faced with the decision to preach about how much “God loves us”, know that people see what you do a lot quicker than what they hear you say. Consider your audience, your demographic, and save your breath if you talk about these things just to hear yourself talk. Or just to feel like a “better Christian”. Make it mean something not only for you, but make it mean something to someone else.

Blog Series

I was inspired the other day to write a blog about a seemingly controversial issue. After thinking about it for a while, I realized that one blog probably won’t suffice.

I’m starting a blog series entitled “Things Christians Shouldn’t Talk About”.

It should last for a few months but will essentially hit topics that Christians are “afraid” of talking about; topics that are often vaguely touched upon by Christians with cookie cutter answers that provide a dead end for discussion.

First installment will be posted soon.

Eat the cookie, already.

It’s hard to be a woman.

For instance; special occasion. Casual attire. We could go for the dress, but it would need to be around knee length. And the shorter the dress gets, the shorter the heels need to get to avoid looking trashy. Or we could go for the skirt. A great print with a solid top and some killer heels would be perfect. But maybe too boring. But how casual does “casual” mean? Should we go for the dark wash jeans with that new black button down with some red stilleto’s and big accessories? Or do we make a statement and put on those black slacks, the new silk halter paired with metallic peep toes and a sleek hair do?

Nothing is easy. Even picking out an outfit for ONE event can prove to be the most difficult decision. Which brings me to the question: Why do women make life harder than it has to be? We aren’t doing ourselves any favors, ladies. Haven’t we all watched a man get ready for a special occassion? The biggest decision they have to make is; tie or no tie? Why can’t it be that easy for us? NEWS FLASH! It can.

With hundreds of new diets coming full force constantly, women are diving in head first to drop a few pounds and hopefully meet their “desired weight” or “ideal dress size”. And these cleanses, too! It’s amazing how people will exclaim that they are doing a cleanse to “get healthier” or “rid their bodies of the bad stuff”. Everyone knows that more often than not, that IS NOT the case. You do these ridiculous cleanses because you saw a story online about this lady who did it and “it worked for her” so you are going to drink nothing but lemonade mixes and water mixed with horrible spices for the next however many days until you reach your desired results.

All of these things sound like time consuming, tiresome, expensive ways to do what? Make yourself happy? Make others like what they see? Keep up a certain image or status quo? It’s all ridiculous. What a terrible way to spend your life; so entirely consumed with what you look like. Don’t get me wrong. I’m all for working out and staying physically fit for the good of your health and well-being and hey, even with dropping some of the unwanted pounds you gained over the Christmas holiday. But at some point, the torture for women really has got to stop.

I just know that my God did not create me the way that I am, to watch me suffer and strive so hard to look a different way. To not eat what I thought might taste good because I didn’t want to gain a pound. To monitor my calorie intake so intently that I cannot focus on anything around me because I’m about to faint from having no energy. My God created me beautifully. He made me healthy and happy and beautiful. No, I don’t look like an airbrushed model from a magazine. Yes, I have my insecurities just like the next girl about certain parts of my body. Did I eat as many fruits and vegetables that I could last week, yes. Did I sit on the couch and eat 3 cookies and half a bag of chips while watching movies this week, yes. Did I proudly put my bikini on in front of all of my friends and emit confidence despite all of my physical flaws, yes I did.

The bottom line here is acceptance. God has already accepted you despite your flaws, emotionally, physically; and still thinks that you are beautiful. What are you still striving for? Eventually we need to accept ourselves the way we are because I guarantee you, even if you don’t hear it, there are MANY people that think that you are beautiful and gorgeous, inside and out.  If you work on the inside, the outside will fall into place. The heart is where it all starts. We SHOULD be striving incredibly hard for that inner beauty. We SHOULD be obsessing over that, because THAT is what people remember and what people want to be around. Make that the first priority.

Let’s start making life a little easier for us, ladies. Own the confidence. Know that you are beautiful, inside and out. Eat the cookie, and wear that bikini with a smile on your face.

Sick? Still? Suck.

It’s finally time again for our Annual River Trip!

I am excited, anxious and nervous all at the same time. Normally excitement would be the key emotion here but I’ve been battling a stomach bug for over a week now, and although there have been signs of getting better, I am in no way 100% healthy enough to go to the river.

As my family and close friends know, I DO NOT take medicine. When I’m sick, when I have a headache, whatever the problem, I don’t take medication. Over the past week I have been on some meds here and there trying to fight this sickness that wants to ruin my vacation. In addition, I am going to the store today to stock up on whatever looks like it may help this killer of a bug.

To say the least, I am going the extra mile to go on this trip. I WILL be there. Year 3 will not disappoint.

Another source of feel-good medicine. I’m rockin’ the Versa all week. The one and only cool thing about my boyfriend being out of town is that he lets me drive his brand new AUTOMATIC car til he gets back. If you have driven a stick your entire driving life, you will understand my excitement. I also had to take Dave and Lindsey to the airport on Saturday; thank God for the Versa then, their bags would NOT have fit in my car. Johnny, you have been such a blessing to me this week without even being here. Kick ass, baby!

So, here’s to a long week of banishing sickness from my body and packing for a trip that I may or may not be attending.

Mexico isn’t just for Spring Break.

This morning I talked for quite a while with one of my co-workers about the issues in Mexico right now. I didn’t realize how severe the problem has gotten with the Mexican Drug Cartels. Mexico is being completely over-run  with these drug cartels and there isn’t anything that citizens can do about it. The drug cartels want the rights over land and trails that lead into the U.S. so that they can traffic drugs and make loads of money for themselves. If you own land and they want it, you are obligated to either sell it to them (if they even offer you money) or be killed for not complying. You can’t get around giving the drug cartels what they want. Money is their main objective. If you are not on their side, you are slain. If you get in their way, slain. The numbers and numbers of bodies are drastically increasing and at this point, cannot be kept track of. Obviously the trails are being fought over to traffic the drugs, but what would the drug cartels need land for? To burn and bury bodies. My co-workers grandfather is renting his land to the drug cartels because they need it for this very purpose. If he denied them the right to pay for this land they will take it and kill not only him, but family as well. His family is in America though, so they have nothing to worry about, right? Wrong. I was informed that “they have tons of people here” for that purpose. They communicate with the drug cartels and locate families living in the U.S. and either kill them, or if they can discover a family here with money that is linked to a family member in Mexico that has not complied, they will take them for ransom.

Doesn’t Mexico have a President, a Government? Why aren’t they doing anything about it? Yes, President Felipe Calderon, and because there are no means of protection from these acts. The Mexican Government do not have aircrafts or excessive arms like we do in the U.S. Since these drug cartels have made such an act of using these trails into the U.S. to traffic drugs, why not traffic arms as well? They have, and they are. Anti-aircraft capable weapons, ammunition, 5 rifles, a grenade and part of a grenade launcher were all recovered yesterday in Mexico in association with the drug cartels. The government cannot stop these cartels with these kinds of weapons, for they do not house anything like that themselves. President Obama is set to meet with Mexican President Felipe Calderon this week to talk about the issue and see what needs to be done, mainly because these occurences are happening just miles away from the Mexico/Texas borders. The borders are so large that they cannot be contained yet something needs to happen. President Obama has promised that there will be more done to stop gun trafficing from the U.S. to Mexico and has pledged to dispatch 500 more federal agents to the border, along with X-ray machines and drug sniffing dogs.

There is clearly a problem. One that cannot be solved within its own country. The government is powerless to the actions and lives that are being taken. What do we do? What does America offer as a solution? Does America even offer a solution? Does America even attempt to help? At this point, being  just miles from the border, security must be locked down to ensure the complete safety of American citizens. Once that is taken care of though, what is next? Do we act to help Mexico? Do we let the country destroy itself right before our eyes or do we take action and help?

Dear World,

It’s always a nice thing to have close friends/family that can be honest with you. I’ve been lucky enough to have my attention drawn to the fact that I let the actions of other people effect my everyday life.

I suppose I could laugh off the pathetic behavior of others or their constant attempts to keep themselves in the present; when their place clearly belongs in the past. But my natural reaction wants to be confrontational. Sometimes I just want to ask people, “Why?” But I’ve been told that recquires too much energy and that doing so would result in making that person a part of my present.

So what do you do?

Do you sit back and just watch people try and creep into a place that they are not welcome? Do you laugh it off and continue to be thankful that you aren’t that way? Do you let it go on for X amount of time and finally say look, this has to stop now?

I guess I just expect too much from people and when they fall below  the expectations that I have invisioned them meeting, I get really irritated.

Now when I wind up feeling this way, I feel like I’m being ungrateful. I mean, I do have a kick ass family, amazing friends, a wonderful boyfriend, a terrific job, and a sweet kitty cat. What else matters? What else should cause a rift in MY life?

The answer:

Nothing.

I choose to let it go. I choose to ignore the things related to this that truly bother me, all so that I can have peace in my life and issues non-existant. We’ll see how it goes. For now.

My Life Would Suck Without You.

Ever want to just look someone in the face and say “My God, get over it already.”?

I know I do.

On a lighter note, over the past 4 months, I have been extraordinarily fortunate to have made some amazing new friends and to re-kindle some old friendships. I also met some crazies.

So, to the girl that pushed me everyday to get up and get going, the girl who proved that laughter really is the best medicine, the guy who let me be a part of his best way to pass the time, the guy who showed me that I am NOT a party girl, the couple that let me into their world and helped me tremendously before barely knowing my name, to the guy that used the line “i want you to sleep in my bed with your clothes on” to me…thank you for showing me why I do not date, the guy that proved that friendships really can come from the strangest places and the girl that went to lunch with me everyday and wanted to help me slit some tires, thank you.

To all of you, thank you. You have all helped me grow in different ways. You have all at one point made me laugh hysterically, reflectively, passionately, or just nervously…(not in the good way)

But regardless, I’m glad I have most of you still in my life. You lit it up when it was dark and you continue to do this today. I may not need you now in ways that I truly needed you before, but there is still a need. I need you all to make my life as bright as it should be. I am so proud to have you as my friends.

Thank you again to these people for really stepping up over the past few months. You are what brought back everything that I am. You helped restore me into the person that I am today.

Thank you.

Hey.

This one is for You.

Be careful this time.

I love you.